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It’s Been Five Years, and I’m Facing it Again…
It’s still difficult to grasp the loss.
I wrote this a year ago today, on October 7, 2023. I never published it. Today makes six years, not five.
Less than three weeks after I wrote this, my father passed away, and I’m still dealing with that grief, too.
I don’t know if this will help anyone else, but it helped me to get it out.
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I'm feeling raw and vulnerable today. And incredibly sad.
Today is the fifth anniversary of my mom’s passing. I can’t believe it’s been so long, yet it also feels like no time has passed. The pain isn’t constant anymore, and when I first noticed that it was less, I felt guilty. Like somehow, I was dishonoring her memory by not being devastated every day. That passed, too.
But the grief, when it shows up, is still sharp. It takes my breath away and makes me want to howl and keen with the weight and pressure of it. It passes, but I’ve accepted that it will never completely disappear.
What makes today harder is that my father is actively dying.
He has lung cancer that has metastasized to his spine. They still have to do more tests before they…
